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All sugar coated

I'm beginning to suffer from type 1 diabetes burnout again.  I get so tired of testing,  site changes,  sensor calibrations,  carb counting,  glucose spikes,  never sleeping through the night.  

People have no idea what it is like to have lived with this chronic illness everyday for the past 24 years.  It NEVER gets easier.

I spend everyday trying to keep my levels in perfect range.  Trying to figure out what caused a high or low.  Calculating the amount of carbs per serving and hope I did it accurately.   Eating a meal should not include a logarithm but it does for me.

I hate when people say, "it is what it is" because it's not.  It sucks.  My life is difficult all day everyday.   And now that is summer it's even harder.   Why,  you ask?  Heat.  Heat acts as a stressor on my body and causes high glucose.  Heat can also start to break down the synthetic insulin so it is literally not effective.  

Burnout sucks! With most things you can walk away.  Get burnt-out with your job or a bad relationship,  you can walk away.  Burnout with T1D means you die if you "walk away" and ignore the illness.  

Alas,  this is my life.  Time to check my glucose again.  I'm naturally too sweet and sugar coated.  l live in a world of used test strips. 

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I would love to invite you to Beyond Type 1. Use this link to join the network: https://community.beyondtype1.org/share/ICAgNDQ0Mjgy

My body gives me the middle finger. Literally!

Trigger Finger

Enough with the hypoglycemia

I will not accept fat as my fate

The diabetic tales continue as I become more and more frustrated. 

I met with my doctor this morning to go over the severe low blood sugars I am having.  She pointed out to me that 31% of the time my glucose is slightly elevated, 55% of the time it is in good range and only 14% of the time is it low.  ONLY 14% of the time.  I politely asked her "How many times does it take to have a severe low of 37 and go into a coma or die"?  Her reply was an astounding ONE!  SO I then asked her if 14% was supposed to somehow be acceptable?  She stopped trying to make me feel okay with the numbers and we talked facts after that.  24 years with this disease...I am not going to be happy with 14% hypoglycemia.  On a happier note, she said things are looking positive for getting my CGMS reinstated.  Most of my lows are happening between 0200 and 0600 or 1200 and 1800.  With them happening both nocturnally and with unawareness it looks promising.  I can only pray this works out in my favor.  Hypoglycemic unawareness is no joke. 

After we handled this we talked about my weight fluctuation.  I have gained three pounds back in the past two weeks.  I am so very discouraged about this.  I know, I know!  Muscles weigh more than fat and I am gaining muscle but I am not okay to be sitting at my current weight.  For my height I am not considered overweight but I feel fat.  I am 176 lbs.  I was down to 173.  I asked my doctor about this and she gave me the typical song and dance.  People taking insulin are at a disadvantage for losing weight.  Over time the weight slowly builds and is almost impossible to get off because of the treatment of the disease...blah blah blah.  I know all this is very true but I am not willing to accept it.  I do not want to he this heavy and I will not teeter on this crazy see-saw anymore.  You see, 170 is where the BMI places my height at not being overweight. 176 is in the overweight range but with my 5-8 lb rapid fluctuations, the doctor is not concerned.  I am concerned.  I do not want to be HEAVY or OVERWEIGHT!!!  I will not accept this as the norm nor as mu fate.

The moment I got home I called my PCM asking for a referral to a nutritionist.  I have taken diabetic diet classes before but it has been years.  I also want to learn the full aspect of nutrition not just how it affects my diabetes.  I also called the Army Wellness Center and made my first appointment to use their BodPod.  This machine will tell me how much body fat I have exactly.  It will also tell me my problem area and how much body fat is the necessary amount.  Once I have completed this appointment I will be making the second appointment for metabolic testing.  I will find out exactly how my metabolism is functioning. 

I may never be the idea 145 lbs I was 10 years ago but by God, I will do everything in my power and use every resource available to get fit.  I will not let T1D determine how my body feels.  It does enough damage to me mentally.  I will not go down physically without a fight. 

#t1dlookslikeme #t1dwontstopme #insulinpumper #noexcuses #Icandoallthings #fighttothefinish