All sugar coated

I'm beginning to suffer from type 1 diabetes burnout again.  I get so tired of testing,  site changes,  sensor calibrations,  carb counting,  glucose spikes,  never sleeping through the night.  

People have no idea what it is like to have lived with this chronic illness everyday for the past 24 years.  It NEVER gets easier.

I spend everyday trying to keep my levels in perfect range.  Trying to figure out what caused a high or low.  Calculating the amount of carbs per serving and hope I did it accurately.   Eating a meal should not include a logarithm but it does for me.

I hate when people say, "it is what it is" because it's not.  It sucks.  My life is difficult all day everyday.   And now that is summer it's even harder.   Why,  you ask?  Heat.  Heat acts as a stressor on my body and causes high glucose.  Heat can also start to break down the synthetic insulin so it is literally not effective.  

Burnout sucks! With most things you can walk away.  Get burnt-out with your job or a bad relationship,  you can walk away.  Burnout with T1D means you die if you "walk away" and ignore the illness.  

Alas,  this is my life.  Time to check my glucose again.  I'm naturally too sweet and sugar coated.  l live in a world of used test strips. 

Almost dead

So I had a minor set back this evening.  My blood sugar crashed hard. I was reading and suddenly my leg muscles cramped up and I couldn't see.  I was able to check my glucose and it was 37. I literally crawled to the fridge, sat in the floor and chugged juice from the bottle.  30 minutes later I checked and it was 67. I had a KIND bar and peanut butter.  30 more minutes I was only at 75. Had a glass of milk.  Another half hour,  63. So my husband calls urgent care (he's home by this time) and they tell him bring me to the er. During the 20 minutes it took to get to the er my glucose stabilized and was a perfect 109. So there was nothing to er could do for me.  No idea why I crashed so hard.  So,  I ate a really hearty dinner;  steak,  potato,  steamed veggies so hopefully I'm remain stable now.
I had to completely forget about my calorie intake and nutrition plan in order to "feed the insulin". It was scary and hopefully I did not ruin this week's progress. #workoutgoals #Hammerandchisel #t1dwontstopme #t1dtriedtokillme #nadiabetes #jdrfny

Hypoglycemia Unaware

Trying to get ready for my #biblestudy with #pwoc and my pump stays screaming at me.  Thank God for the #cgms I found in my box of supplies last week.  My #glucose is dropping again.  I have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow to talk about all this and put a new claim into #healthnet and #tricare with the new data showing the lows. It sucks because hypoglycemia unawareness not safe for me to #drive and I like my bible study.  This is how #hypoglycemiaunawareness can debilitate your #qualityoflife Feeling disappointed and defeated.