What defines you?

So today has been pretty disappointing for me and you are all about to get some full and complete honesty. If you are not ready for that, WARNING: STOP READING NOW!

Every Sunday I take my measurements because that is the end of my workout week. Every Sunday I have seen results that blew me away. Well today that did not happen. I had absolutely NO CHANGE in my measurements from last week. I was devastated.

My husband convinced me to take my weekly progression photos even though I did not want to do so. You can see the fake smile and complete look of defeat in my face. Don't even act like you can't. It is there.

After the photos were taken I did not even look at them. I had to shower and get ready for church. Besides I was disappointed after all. I was also tearing myself apart. That moment of disappointment had opened up a tiny bit of negativity and the enemy took his foothold in that thought.

As I showered I began to cry. I surveyed my body and silently criticized every inch of myself. Suddenly my face was not firm enough, my hair was too limp, my eyebrows were needing work again, my legs were too full and long, my butt STILL TOO BIG, my stomach not firm enough, etc etc etc. Every positive thing I had done over the past month to improve my fitness meant NOTHING; NOTHING I say.

Then I heard the voice of my coach. I really believe it was God's still voice but it sounded like Lisa because when I started this journey she asked me a question. She said, "What is your why?" Obviously it was to lose weigh but she said, "No, what is your WHY? Why are you doing this. It needs to be more than weight because you will plateau. You need a good WHY to keep you going when motivation is not there!" (That may not be verbatim but it is close enough.)

As I cried silently in the shower I remembered my why. It was not to lose weight. That is my goal. My why is much bigger. It is to better my body for the battles I face everyday. I need to be strong as a member of God's Army to be able to live as a Christian. I have to be fit to reach my purpose. I also need to be healthy to be the BEST wife and mother I can be. If I am sick and diabetes gets me down I am good for NONE of these things. I am no good at all. Once i remembered my WHY, I was no longer crying in silence; I was praising God for the ability to workout every singe day no matter what. I was thanking him for allowing me to hit this plateau in order to remember why I started.

After church I finally looked at the photos. I put them side by side and really looked at them. I may not have made any measurement or weight progress but my body DOES LOOK DIFFERENT. When I flex my back roll disappears, my lower stomach is finally getting flatter, my obliques look more defined and when not flexed my back roll is still smaller...my butt looks lifted too!!

I write this to encourage you to not give up on your journey. Have a good why to keep you going. It is soooo important. Also remember we all feel discouraged. It is okay actually. Just do not stay in that place of defeat. Do not allow the enemy to derail your purpose. It is so easy for women to let this happen because we feel so negatively about our bodies. Forget the number...and I know it is hard to do. Trust me, I know I am EXACTLY 1.2 pounds heavier with wet hair than dry hair. So trust me when I understand obsession with those numbers. BUT LET IT GO. Embrace the process and keep pushing. Things are happening even we do not realize it...and number can deceive us.

Look up and keep moving forward. NO EXCUSES!

Planned Parenthood

There is never a day that passes where I do not see something about protests of Planned Parenthood. This got me wondering why Planned Parenthood has such a horrible reputation among "Christians". As a christian it is important to me that people understand the Bible does not say everyone has to share our beliefs. The Bible (at least the way I read it) states God loves everyone. Every sinner. As Christians we are supposed to accept people as they are and love them. Through our walk and love for their souls we should lead them to Christ. Very few people are led to Christ by being frightened or ridiculed into faith. Also, my Bible says I am not to judge others. I can listen to them and witness to them but no judge. How can a person be ridiculed and not judged? It is impossible, imho. The Bible says to cast he first stone if you are without sin. I know I am not without sin so I cannot cast stones upon the sins of another; no matter what the sin is. God views all sin as sin. He does not have a measurement scale for how bad each sin is. Lying is just as bad as stealing, etc. So what does this have to do with Planned Parenthood? For years people have been against Planned Parenthood because the organization allows abortions to be conducted in their clinics. Due to this, the entire organization is seen, by some, as a baby killing organization with no benefit. Well, I want to argue that Planned Parenthood is beneficial regardless of the abortion aspect. Let's remove abortion from the scenario and look at what Planned Parenthood would be without it. It would be an organization that offers the following: Birth Control information including: Abstinence Birth Control Implant (Implanon and Nexplanon) Birth Control Patch Birth Control Shot (Depo-Provera) Birth Control Sponge (Today Sponge) Birth Control Vaginal Ring (NuvaRing) Breastfeeding as Birth Control Cervical Cap (FemCap) Condom Diaphragm Female Condom Fertility Awareness-Based Methods (FAMs) IUD Morning-After Pill (Emergency Contraception) Outercourse Spermicide Sterilization for Women (Tubal Sterilization) Vasectomy Withdrawal (Pull Out Method) WOW!!! All this information on how to prevent pregnancy including ABSTINENCE! Planned Parenthood also offers information on: Body Image Issues (who doesn't need help with this topic) Relationship Health (which includes help with ending relationships and topics on unhealthy relationships) Pregnancy Breast Feeding STD Testing Men's Health (including testicular cancer) Women's Health (mammograms, pelvic exams, breast exams) And several other beneficial items but I think I have listed enough. Many of the above listed items are free or discounted. This is the only way some women are able to get breast exams, pelvic exams and birth control. The costs of these procedures, even with insurance, can be detrimental and prevent people from seeking much needed medical attention. So here is my big question for all the Christian Protesters: How can you ignore all the benefits of this program simply because you do not agree with one thing the clinics offer? If a clinic offered free cancer treatments but also preformed abortions, would you not accept the treatments if you were suffering from cancer yourself? I think you would. Again, it is not our place to judge anyone. We also do not have to condone it but I believe there is a right and wrong way to do things. We should not ridicule people as they seek refuge in the clinics. We should be reaching out to females in need before they reach the point of needing/wanting an abortion. They should not be spat upon by sinners and yes WE ARE ALL SINNERS. When Christians scream and curse at these women as they try to enter a clinic, what message are they receiving? A message of love or hate? Jesus loved them all. Are we better than Jesus? I think not. Our mission is to disciple the lost into followers of Christ. It is possible to hate the sin but love the sinner. Not sure how to do that< Christian. Read the word and look to Jesus for the example. He did it. So can we.