Someone noticed my t1d videos!

All sugar coated

I'm beginning to suffer from type 1 diabetes burnout again.  I get so tired of testing,  site changes,  sensor calibrations,  carb counting,  glucose spikes,  never sleeping through the night.  

People have no idea what it is like to have lived with this chronic illness everyday for the past 24 years.  It NEVER gets easier.

I spend everyday trying to keep my levels in perfect range.  Trying to figure out what caused a high or low.  Calculating the amount of carbs per serving and hope I did it accurately.   Eating a meal should not include a logarithm but it does for me.

I hate when people say, "it is what it is" because it's not.  It sucks.  My life is difficult all day everyday.   And now that is summer it's even harder.   Why,  you ask?  Heat.  Heat acts as a stressor on my body and causes high glucose.  Heat can also start to break down the synthetic insulin so it is literally not effective.  

Burnout sucks! With most things you can walk away.  Get burnt-out with your job or a bad relationship,  you can walk away.  Burnout with T1D means you die if you "walk away" and ignore the illness.  

Alas,  this is my life.  Time to check my glucose again.  I'm naturally too sweet and sugar coated.  l live in a world of used test strips. 

T1d community app

I would love to invite you to Beyond Type 1. Use this link to join the network: https://community.beyondtype1.org/share/ICAgNDQ0Mjgy

My body gives me the middle finger. Literally!

Trigger Finger

Enough with the hypoglycemia

I will not accept fat as my fate

The diabetic tales continue as I become more and more frustrated. 

I met with my doctor this morning to go over the severe low blood sugars I am having.  She pointed out to me that 31% of the time my glucose is slightly elevated, 55% of the time it is in good range and only 14% of the time is it low.  ONLY 14% of the time.  I politely asked her "How many times does it take to have a severe low of 37 and go into a coma or die"?  Her reply was an astounding ONE!  SO I then asked her if 14% was supposed to somehow be acceptable?  She stopped trying to make me feel okay with the numbers and we talked facts after that.  24 years with this disease...I am not going to be happy with 14% hypoglycemia.  On a happier note, she said things are looking positive for getting my CGMS reinstated.  Most of my lows are happening between 0200 and 0600 or 1200 and 1800.  With them happening both nocturnally and with unawareness it looks promising.  I can only pray this works out in my favor.  Hypoglycemic unawareness is no joke. 

After we handled this we talked about my weight fluctuation.  I have gained three pounds back in the past two weeks.  I am so very discouraged about this.  I know, I know!  Muscles weigh more than fat and I am gaining muscle but I am not okay to be sitting at my current weight.  For my height I am not considered overweight but I feel fat.  I am 176 lbs.  I was down to 173.  I asked my doctor about this and she gave me the typical song and dance.  People taking insulin are at a disadvantage for losing weight.  Over time the weight slowly builds and is almost impossible to get off because of the treatment of the disease...blah blah blah.  I know all this is very true but I am not willing to accept it.  I do not want to he this heavy and I will not teeter on this crazy see-saw anymore.  You see, 170 is where the BMI places my height at not being overweight. 176 is in the overweight range but with my 5-8 lb rapid fluctuations, the doctor is not concerned.  I am concerned.  I do not want to be HEAVY or OVERWEIGHT!!!  I will not accept this as the norm nor as mu fate.

The moment I got home I called my PCM asking for a referral to a nutritionist.  I have taken diabetic diet classes before but it has been years.  I also want to learn the full aspect of nutrition not just how it affects my diabetes.  I also called the Army Wellness Center and made my first appointment to use their BodPod.  This machine will tell me how much body fat I have exactly.  It will also tell me my problem area and how much body fat is the necessary amount.  Once I have completed this appointment I will be making the second appointment for metabolic testing.  I will find out exactly how my metabolism is functioning. 

I may never be the idea 145 lbs I was 10 years ago but by God, I will do everything in my power and use every resource available to get fit.  I will not let T1D determine how my body feels.  It does enough damage to me mentally.  I will not go down physically without a fight. 

#t1dlookslikeme #t1dwontstopme #insulinpumper #noexcuses #Icandoallthings #fighttothefinish

Push partner

I was irritated today and had a negative attitude about a personal situation.  My #mondaymotivation was non existent.  This is why is important to have support.  My #husband @selfleaderii who knows my goals and believes in me, would not let me #quit. He tossed my #wonderwoman #workoutgear at me,  mixed my #energize #preworkout, stated my dvd of #Hammerandchisel and told me to "get it done"! Dragging #glutes and #elbows I got started.  I'm glad I did.  #totalbodychisel and #10minuteabchisel done.  #neverskipamonday #pushpartners #goals #husbandandwifestuff

Found a CGMS!

Found a #cgms is a drawer and decided to use it.  Hopefully #healthnet & #tricare well review my claim again and approve the request.  Life is certainly better with these medical advances.  My husband/medic is putting them in my arm for me.  #t1dlife #insulinpumper #enlitesensor @selfleaderii

Almost dead

So I had a minor set back this evening.  My blood sugar crashed hard. I was reading and suddenly my leg muscles cramped up and I couldn't see.  I was able to check my glucose and it was 37. I literally crawled to the fridge, sat in the floor and chugged juice from the bottle.  30 minutes later I checked and it was 67. I had a KIND bar and peanut butter.  30 more minutes I was only at 75. Had a glass of milk.  Another half hour,  63. So my husband calls urgent care (he's home by this time) and they tell him bring me to the er. During the 20 minutes it took to get to the er my glucose stabilized and was a perfect 109. So there was nothing to er could do for me.  No idea why I crashed so hard.  So,  I ate a really hearty dinner;  steak,  potato,  steamed veggies so hopefully I'm remain stable now.
I had to completely forget about my calorie intake and nutrition plan in order to "feed the insulin". It was scary and hopefully I did not ruin this week's progress. #workoutgoals #Hammerandchisel #t1dwontstopme #t1dtriedtokillme #nadiabetes #jdrfny

Hypoglycemia Unaware

Trying to get ready for my #biblestudy with #pwoc and my pump stays screaming at me.  Thank God for the #cgms I found in my box of supplies last week.  My #glucose is dropping again.  I have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow to talk about all this and put a new claim into #healthnet and #tricare with the new data showing the lows. It sucks because hypoglycemia unawareness not safe for me to #drive and I like my bible study.  This is how #hypoglycemiaunawareness can debilitate your #qualityoflife Feeling disappointed and defeated.

Beach Body Progress 9 weeks

First Vlog: Mail Call

What defines you?

So today has been pretty disappointing for me and you are all about to get some full and complete honesty. If you are not ready for that, WARNING: STOP READING NOW!

Every Sunday I take my measurements because that is the end of my workout week. Every Sunday I have seen results that blew me away. Well today that did not happen. I had absolutely NO CHANGE in my measurements from last week. I was devastated.

My husband convinced me to take my weekly progression photos even though I did not want to do so. You can see the fake smile and complete look of defeat in my face. Don't even act like you can't. It is there.

After the photos were taken I did not even look at them. I had to shower and get ready for church. Besides I was disappointed after all. I was also tearing myself apart. That moment of disappointment had opened up a tiny bit of negativity and the enemy took his foothold in that thought.

As I showered I began to cry. I surveyed my body and silently criticized every inch of myself. Suddenly my face was not firm enough, my hair was too limp, my eyebrows were needing work again, my legs were too full and long, my butt STILL TOO BIG, my stomach not firm enough, etc etc etc. Every positive thing I had done over the past month to improve my fitness meant NOTHING; NOTHING I say.

Then I heard the voice of my coach. I really believe it was God's still voice but it sounded like Lisa because when I started this journey she asked me a question. She said, "What is your why?" Obviously it was to lose weigh but she said, "No, what is your WHY? Why are you doing this. It needs to be more than weight because you will plateau. You need a good WHY to keep you going when motivation is not there!" (That may not be verbatim but it is close enough.)

As I cried silently in the shower I remembered my why. It was not to lose weight. That is my goal. My why is much bigger. It is to better my body for the battles I face everyday. I need to be strong as a member of God's Army to be able to live as a Christian. I have to be fit to reach my purpose. I also need to be healthy to be the BEST wife and mother I can be. If I am sick and diabetes gets me down I am good for NONE of these things. I am no good at all. Once i remembered my WHY, I was no longer crying in silence; I was praising God for the ability to workout every singe day no matter what. I was thanking him for allowing me to hit this plateau in order to remember why I started.

After church I finally looked at the photos. I put them side by side and really looked at them. I may not have made any measurement or weight progress but my body DOES LOOK DIFFERENT. When I flex my back roll disappears, my lower stomach is finally getting flatter, my obliques look more defined and when not flexed my back roll is still smaller...my butt looks lifted too!!

I write this to encourage you to not give up on your journey. Have a good why to keep you going. It is soooo important. Also remember we all feel discouraged. It is okay actually. Just do not stay in that place of defeat. Do not allow the enemy to derail your purpose. It is so easy for women to let this happen because we feel so negatively about our bodies. Forget the number...and I know it is hard to do. Trust me, I know I am EXACTLY 1.2 pounds heavier with wet hair than dry hair. So trust me when I understand obsession with those numbers. BUT LET IT GO. Embrace the process and keep pushing. Things are happening even we do not realize it...and number can deceive us.

Look up and keep moving forward. NO EXCUSES!

21 Day Fix Round 1 COMPLETE

Sparky has tricks

21 Day Fix Round 1 COMPLETE

Shane's Track Meet

Shane's 13 Birthday Surprise

The Plunge

So today I took the plunge.  Instead of being a customer, I am now a coach.  What could you do if you were no longer afraid?  

I am hoping to inspire people to improve their health.  As a TIDiabetic for 24 years, I completely understand the struggle.  It is hard to lose weight while having to adjust your insulin and diet all at once.  It can also be dangerous so HELP FROM A DOCTOR IS ESSENTIAL to success.  

If I can do it, anyone can  so I hope I can be an example for others in my situation.

www.beachbodycoach.com/ELLAPYGMALION