Can they ?

I know a lady that has several children.  Her and her husband seem to be great parents.  Every time I have ever been around them they were always attentive of their children.  This amazed me because they have seven, I think.  I only have one and it is all I can do to keep up with him and I think I am a good parent.  That makes them AMAZING parents.

Their youngest child, who is a gorgeous baby girl, was born deaf.  I remember when this little one was born because both of our husbands were deployed together.  I remember the FRG encouraging us all to "come together" and make ourselves available if she needed any assistance.  I think this was one of the first times I ever talked to her. 

Well, we seem to communicate quite often now.  We mainly talk on Facebook and a conversation we were having got me thinking about deafness.  She had posted a status stating  (not verbatim)..."people that wanted to socialize with her daughter needed to learn American Sign Language".  She also stated, "this included family".  Before I go any further I want to say I applaud her for having this attitude.  Her daughter should not be forced to struggle while communicating with family.  Family is where you should feel the safest.  Family should want to learn ASL so they can communicate. 

Okay, off my soap box and back to the topic. 

This part of that status made me curious about why a family would not want to learn ASL.  So me being me, I messaged her stating that I agreed with her and asked why family members would not want to learn.  She stated many of them were under the assumption her and her husband were going to get implants for the little girl.

Normal Hearing

Implant Hearing

 If I understand correctly, implants MIGHT make it possible for her to hear somethings but not as well as a hearing person.  This is some research I did myself on the subject.  That statement did not come from my friend/acquaintance/fellow Army Wife. 

Anyway, so they decided not to go with implants.  I feel they know what is best for their child and the other family members should be willing to at least attempt to learn ASL if they want to communicate with the child. 

As we chatted, I told her about a girl I knew growing up who was deaf.  Her name is Misty.  Misty was not born deaf.  She, if my memory serves, lost her hearing as a baby because of some sort of fever.  I was friends with Misty's sister.  So at times I had contact with Misty.  I remember knowing some basic sign but mostly having to spell words out if I wanted to talk to Misty, as I knew the alphabet but not many words.  Communicating was not simple but we made it work.  I remember thinking it was "neat".  Yes, I said neat.  I was 5 or 6 so give me a break. 

My friend then asked me if Misty had gone to college.  I told her yes.  Misty did go to college and is a successful person.  She is an advocate for the deaf community and has children of her own.  She seems to have a fulfilled life that is not impeded by her deafness. 

ASL Hand Art

Nothing more was said about it after that but it made me wonder how often as parents we worry about these things.  I know I do and my child is perfectly healthy.  I wondered how often my parents had these questions about me since I was so sick growing up.  I wonder if they still question my health and worry about me.  I am sure they do.  I am sure I will do the same with my son too.  I am pretty darn sure all parents will do it.  The only thing I can say is, as humans we can do just about anything.   A disability does not have to make one "invalid".  It can define who we are and give us the drive to work harder and be just a little better than others.  We know we have to be better at things so others do not always see us as "disabled".  I think it all depends on the attitude in which the condition is presented.  So, KUDOS to this mom for demanding others treat her daughter as an equal.  They should learn ASL.  The child should not have to bend to their needs or compromise to meet their standard.  They should embrace her deafness and encourage her to fulfill whatever dreams she may have as she grows older.  This little girl can be whatever she wants to be if guided correctly and I know these parents will help her with that guidance.