Ping Pong and Beer

I asked my friends to give me a random topic to write on today.  My friend Kyle suggested ping pong.  I stated I did not even remember the rules to ping pong.  He suggested I use the words figuratively and apply them to my life.  My friend Diana said to do beer pong if I could not remember ping pong.  So somehow, because of that conversation you all are getting something that will probably make no sense whatsoever; ping pong and beer.  That is definitely random.

I have not played ping pong since I was about 12 years old.  I really do not even remember anything about it other than it had balls, paddles, a table, and a net.  You whacked the balls back forth over the net.  Taken out of context that sounds like a really sexy game.  Then I think about how ping pong balls are smacked around.  Each one has a specific place it is meant to go but can sometimes go completely off course.  This really made me think about my life.  (That reasoning was inspired by Kyle also).  My life has been like a wild ping pong ball that has no real destination.    

Ten or so years ago I knew exactly how I wanted my life to be.  I had a husband, an infant son, a full time job, a close knit family, a home of my own.  I had everything I ever wanted.  Then suddenly everything changed.  My husband became really mean.  Nothing I did was good enough.  I was fat and ugly.  My life was really sucking.  Then I discovered he was using drugs and cheating on me.  I was devastated and afraid. 

My first instinct was to make him leave.  Just kick him out and turn my back on the whole ordeal.  For some reason I could not do that.  The reason was I was committed to my family.  I was committed to the vow I made; "for better or worse".  Well let me tell you, worse got even more worse.  My husband's behavior did not improve and after a year of his crap I could not take anymore.  One night he came home from work in a REALLY bad mood.  He was taking it out on both my son and myself.  I was accustomed to it by this point.  I had learned to deal with it.  I was also a grown woman and I could fight back.  Well on this particular night our 18 month old son toddled up to his dad and was stepping on his feet.  He wanted to play, as dad would play with him in this manner.  Our son would stand on my husband's feet and he would walk around with our son that way.  Our son loved this game.  Anyway, husband was not in the mood for it so when son stepped on his feet he shoved son by son's face.  This made me angry.  For the first time I attacked my husband.  He had put his hands on my little baby.  My little baby that COULD NOT defend himself.  It was time for him to go.  I kicked him out and told him to go to rehab and "get his shit together" and I would be waiting for him.  So wait is what I did.  For two long years I waited.  I had such a hard time letting go because I felt like I was wrong in the eyes of God. Well a lady I respected very much took me aside and asked me if I really thought God wanted this pain for me. If he wanted me in a relationship with a man that could not lead our family.   A man that was not loving to his family. She also showed where adultery is a valid reason for dissolving a union.  I just did not want to give up.  I waited so long my now ex-husband had a new wife and another baby.  Yep, I was still waiting.     

During all of this waiting I had realized I could not survive on the income I was bringing in alone.  It sometimes go to the point of paying the electric bill or buying food.  My family was ALWAYS there to help me but I hated asking for financial help.  After all, I had a professional full-time job.  I should be able to support my son and myself.  I even went to apply for social service but found out, since I had that professional job, I made $10 too much to qualify for any kind of assistance.  I had no idea what to do.  Inevitably, I wound up moving back in with my parents.  I had to go back home with a baby and depend on my parents because a jerk broke my heart.

Eventually, I quit waiting and decided to move on with my life.  I wanted to be able to survive on my own.  I did not want to depend on my parents forever.  Therefore, I decided to go back to school.  I enrolled at the closest four year university so I could commute to and still keep my job.  Keeping my job was important to me because I had been working at the same place for over four years.  I did not want to start over. 

So off I traveled; commuting to the lands of higher education and a better life.  After about two years I met this guy and finally started dating.  It felt so weird.  To make a long story short, that relationship ended in disaster also.  This guy, after 4 years of dating, asked me to marry him.  I should have known it was a bad idea when I wanted to throw up when he proposed.  But alas I accepted.  Fortunately, before we could marry he left me while I was at work.  Yes, we were living together and he moved out while I was at work.  I know, I know.  I can certainly pick winners.  Don't judge me lol.  As you can see my life was constantly ping ponging.  Ping ponging everywhere.  Cue beer stage left.

Beer.  It was so great.  It could put me in a good mood no matter how I was feeling.  It tasted awful but I learned if you drink the first one really fast it makes the second one taste better.  I spent nights sitting at my computer, drinking beer, and playing online games with my friend Kyle.  Yes, the same Kyle that inspired this babbling :D!  He is such an awesome friend.  Anyway, beer became a good friend of mine.  It got me through many long nights and made me do things I would never have done sober.  One of these such things was talk to some random guy online and agree to meet him in person.   I swear I would have never done this had I been sober.  However, it turns out I was lucky to have been drinking that night.  The guy I met turned out to be a really awesome guy.  We fell for each other and fell hard.  We "dated" for about two weeks when he, during the throws of passion said, "You are going to marry me".  I just laughed and ignored the comment.  He knew from the beginning I was not interested in a relationship with anyone.  Nevertheless, he was relentless.  He told me the Army had given him orders and he was going to be leaving.  I did not want to let go of something that may be great.  It already was great.  I certainly did not want it to end after only three weeks.  Cue more beer and lots of it!  What was I to do.  Both times I took a chance in the love department ended in disaster.  Finally I agreed to marry him.

He and I got married on my lunch break.  We ran to the local courthouse with one of my co-workers and a previous co-worker I was still friends with as our witnesses.  It was quite comical.  After two failed long-term relationships I was marrying some guy I had only known for 23 days.  I probably do not have to say I had beer that night lol.  I could not believe what I had done and my family was furious.  They were angry I was going to be moving all the way across the United States and I was taking my son.  They did not want to let us go.  I was ping ponging 3000 miles away from where I had lived my entire life.  Leaving my career (at this point I had been at this job for a decade), everything I had ever known, everyone that had ever been by my side and held my hand.  It was difficult. 

Fortunately, after several months my family forgave me and we are all okay now.  I do miss them but we all love one another again.  I have also been able to graduate college.  I was able to transfer into a public Ivy League institution.  I was very proud of my accomplishments.  Unfortunately, with the economy in such a bad state I have been unable to find a job but whatever.  I cannot have everything.  I feel blessed because the man I married turned out to be a wonderful man.  He loves me completely and he loves my son.  We are coming up on our third anniversary and we are still in love.  We still get along.  we actually still enjoy each others company.  The only tough part is how life as an Army wife keeps my life in a ping pong state.  I never know what may happen from one day to the next but I am able to handle it with a lot less beer because I have a wonderful man to help me through it all.  He provides for us and makes sure we have everything we need.  What more could I ask for?