Confessions of a diabetic!

There are days when this aspect of my life is the most difficult thing I have to handle. I want to eat something sweet so badly it is almost unbearable. There are sweet things everywhere and I want to eat them all. Sadly, I was blessed or cursed (depending on your perception) with the gift of diabetes.

Typically, I try not bring sweet foods into our house. It is such a temptation for me, my son has A.D.D. which is made worse by sugar, and my husband is in the military so his weight has to stay up to standard. It is also important to me that we all have a healthy diet. However, at the present time I have all sorts of junky sweet food residing in my kitchen.

My son was doing a fund raiser for school. Of all things he was selling cookie dough. I bought some to help him reach his goal and so did Grandma. Unfortunately, Grandma lives in Georgia and we live in Washington State. So all the cookie dough Grandma bought, she said to keep here for my son. We also have an AMPLE amount of Easter candy in a fruit bowl on the island counter. I want to dig into it and gobble it down like my inner fat kid wants me to do. I honestly believe if I did not have to battle with diabetes I would be as big as a barn door.

I tried keeping Cool Whip in my fridge and having a spoonful of it when I got my sugar cravings but it did nothing. I have also tried Jello, pudding, Otter Pops...nothing cures these cravings except CHOCOLATE. Almighty chocolate! It is like food of the gods to me. I want a Reese's Cup the size of my leg. And trust me, I have a pretty big leg. Being 5'10 it is rather long so that would be a HUGE and satisfying Reese's Cup.

Rarely do I give into these cravings for one reason alone. My 10 year old son. I imagine his life without me. A life without a mother because she CHOSE not to take care of herself. I know statistically I would probably not die until he is grown but what quality of life would he and I have together. A life full of diabetic retinopathy, kidney failure, stroke, etc. I do not want him to have to witness that. I also do not want to go through all those bad things myself.

I am not always good though. I do have the Insulin Infusion Pump, which allows me a small degree of freedom so when the cravings get absolutely so bad that I feel myself becoming a raving lunatic, I will indulge. The last time I did this was a Cinnabon Cinnamon Roll that I shared with a friend. It was so delicious it seemed almost sinful! It was the yummiest thing I feel like I had ever eaten.

Alas, the cravings began coming back today. As will be a constant struggle in my life for as long as live. After 20 years of being diabetic one would think it would get easier but it never does. I just have to be strong and remember my reasons for fighting. Everyone has struggles and no one has a perfect life. Today this is what I am struggling with. Tomorrow I might actually have a real and important issue to deal with. So I will save my energy for really important issues and go eat a banana and shut up about wanting candy!